Tuesday, November 12, 2013
On magical retribution, the rule of three and Hindu Karma
I spent years listening to Christian sentiments about "what goes around comes around." When I pointed out bad people get by with bad stuff all their lives and some seem to never get in trouble for it, I was told "God will get them. They will all go to hell. You wait and see. They will be punished FOREVER!!!!!!!"
Then there is the concept of Karma. A Hindu concept embraced by Buddhists, as well as other people, that says your choices cause consequences, and will influence what you come back as in the next life when you reincarnate.
Then Wiccans have their own concept set forth by the Wiccan Rede. "An it harm none, do what ye will."
Wiccans swear by this and state all you do will come back to you threefold.
Most of us accept Wicca is a neo, or new religion, but many do not accept how new the Rede is.
This all started in 1949 with Gardner's writing this in his book High Magic's Aid
.
"Thou hast obeyed the Law. But mark well, when thou receivest good, so equally art bound to return good threefold." (For this is the joke in witchcraft, the witch knows, though the initiate does not, that she will get three times what she gave, so she does not strike hard.)"
Then Valiente is creditied with the original - "an it harm none do what ye will" , although a poem appeared in Earth Religion News in 1974, and soonafter The Green Egg had a version by a Lady Gwen Thompson, stating the other poem was a changed version of what her grandmother, Adriana Porter wrote.
It all sounds like the Biblical Golden Rule, even though the speculation that the line "Do what ye will"comes from Crowley.
Crowley was not talking about worrying about consequences. He was saying there is your mundane will, and your Higher Will- that which you were put on earth to do. All your actions in life ought to go toward that ans that alone. "Do what thou wilt." and it did not say a word about whether your Higher Will caused harm or not.
History and background of a statement embraced today aside- who is to say what causes harm? There is no universal code that transcends time and cultures. What one person views as harmful, another sees as beneficial.
I can see not going out of your way to be an asshole to people, but there comes a time when you have to do something despite what other people will think or feel and whether you think the universe will bitchslap you to punish you - and THREEFOLD at that for what you do. Also, doing nice things for people does not automatically guarantee blessings will come back threefold.
I don't believe that what goes around always comes around, I don't believe in Karmaic retribution, and I don't buy the Rule of Three and the Wiccan Rede.
I have a new suggestion., Just fucking do what you think is right, despite the consequences, unless you think said consequences would be unbearable, and don't worry about punishments and rewards. Many cast off the thou shalt nots of our Abrahamic culture, only to drag that dynamic into Wicca, and I am not interested in ascribing to it.
One topic that is hot debate due to strong belief in doing no harm- is the practice of raining down retribution.
Many Pagans are hedonists. Hedonists avoid pain and seek pleasure. The thought of somebody being in an
unpleasurable situation because somebody more powerful than them cursed them repulses a lot of Pagans.
A lot of Pagans also champion a Utopian idea of being non-judgmental in all circumstances. Anything goes- because they say they got told what to do before by unfair, unrealistic people, and don't want to be anymore. So those folks don't like the idea of a human being taking matters into their own hands and making a consequence.
Many Pagans are also concerned with fairness. They work damn hard to go to protests and they complain a lot about how they feel things should change. But wait a minute...(scratches head) wouldn't that entail telling people what to do? So, nobody can tell THEM what to do because they have to be the ones in charge telling everybody else what to do? Doesn't that entail them being judgmental and aren't they then causing pain because nobody wants to be judged?
I'm being sarcastic, but the point I'm trying to make is, there is no way to ensure nobody judges anything and that everybody is happy all the time. There will come a time you have to go against somebody else's wishes, and upset them, and they will most likely, if they are Pagan, stand there with clenched fists, insisting the universe will visit the suffering you caused to them back on you threefold. I know, people tell me all the time, since I'm so outspoken, that their gods or demons will have their way with me and destroy me. And yet, I'm still here calling it like I see it, and pissing some overly whiny folks off.
I do believe in cause and effect, but I don't believe it's about punishments and rewards.
I see people go out of their way to do kind things for unappreciative people and get kicked in the teeth for it time and again, and I see people do nasty shit and get by with it time and again. "It will catch up to them'", some folks say to me. And they pat me and try to make me feel better about it. Sometimes, I have to let it go, but sometimes it is time to pull out my witch bag and exact some justice on somebody.
Immediately, feel-good, love and light "white" witches jump in and beg people not to do this. Notice they never urge the perpetrators to NOT do things that cause a reaction? No, they always want to silence the reaction and beg for understanding and reconciliation from the offended party. It is always up to the victim not to wish the universe punish them threefold for looking for justice.
I always wonder about people who preach to the victim. Why they prefer you lie back down so people can walk on you again rather than stand up and knock back the people who knock you?
"Bend over, and people will kick you", a man once told me. Why do so many insist we all bend over so we can be kicked?
Because they are afraid the gods will punish them if they do not, apparently.
I have to wonder what kind of gods these people follow- gods who want to see them be the world's bitch and to be laid back to the point of being comatose, to never disagree or speak up or take up for themselves- yet, they moan and complain long and loud if somebody else does, and then preach brotherly love. These are likewise , seemingly the people who believe we all can get along, despite the fact all of history proves different, and people who urge positive living and thinking happy thoughts all the time. None of which improves your life, brings you love and money, and none of which cures disease or creates world peace. I've tried it. Being a skeptical, cynical bitch saves me the most headaches, worry, and stress, because I get taken advantage of less.
Brotherly love is not Pagan. Love of you and YOURS is. Your clan, your kin, your peeps. People forget these gods we say we worship were tribal gods of war. They did not love their enemies, they killed them.
I don't kill people or curse them into the ground if they look at me sideways- but I do defend myself, and the ones who matter to me.
My gods will never punish me for that.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
On the attainment of goals- the ones we are SUPPOSED to attain as opposed to the ones we THINK we are supposed to.
I've had a LOT of time to think since my long term full time job finished. 21 months to be exact.
I'd realized I needed a change of career for a long long time, but stewed for a couple of years, indecisive as to what I wanted "to-be-when-I-grow-up" and too scared to quit.
It's a huge self-esteem blow not having a career- especially since I always have. Even in college, I was working some form of job, even if it was a volunteer position or just part-time.
The past 21 months has seen some bare patches. On unemployment for 13 months, financially, I survived. But the old me died. The old me who had all the answers. The one who met every goal she set, even when people said I couldn't or even shouldn't. The me who was both admired and hated for my accomplishments.
Unemployed, job hunting, interviewing and being picked over time after time, and school shopping , and getting no ah-ha moments as to which direction I was moving forward in destroyed my self-image. I had to admit that I could not accomplish every single I wanted to. I had to face the fact that, as a human being, there were limitations, whereas I had previously believed there WERE no limits to what I could do. I had believed people whop could not accomplish something were weak, flawed, incapable, lazy, or just plain inferior. I suddenly felt trapped, helpless, defeated- like I had become inferior overnight. I went from the extreme of feeling like the most capable being there was to feeling like the LEAST capable creature in Midgard. I gave up control and asked the gods to take over, thinking there would be results when I relinquished control and admitted I'm only human and can only do so much. I was unprepared for an answer that was different than the one I'd asked for.
The answer came as silence to the question of what to do, and lack of results I was expecting.
Worse yet, it became screamingly obvious my whole self-identity had been tied to my job, which was gone.
Unemployed and unable to move forward, who was I?
Had I become somebody else since I seemed to no longer be able to make shit happen? Would I ever get out of this rut and be in the drivers seat of my life again?
Perhaps I had accomplished the things I was born to and was waiting to reincarnate, and nothing would be accomplished until I crossed the veil?
The whole thing depressed me.
Time and again, in trying to make myself feel better, I sat down and wrote out lists of all I'd accomplished since I became jobless.
At the top of that was "I quit smoking." I was not a cigarette smoker, but a shi-sha smoker- the Middle Eastern tobacco pipe used with molasses treated tobacco. I observed co-workers going outside every hour or two and taking a 10-15 minute smoke break. I was not the only one who leaned on that drug as a crutch.
Quitting smoking was something I never could have done at that job. Sometimes, the job upset and stressed me to the point I was talking on my lunch break about how I could not wait to go smoke some tobacco and how much better I'd feel once I did. I admit to speeding on the way home and lighting up immediately once I got home some days. I'd then drink.
I would not say I'd become an alcoholic- but I will say, I would have made a very good one. Alcohol and tobacco got me through the days and weeks and years I was at that job. I still have alcohol, but significantly less. I went from about a bottle of wine a day to one bottle every week or two- spread out over the days.
I also gave up fast food. I researched food choices and healthy eating. I learned some new dished I'd always wanted to. Our food bill dropped because we ate at home more often. Indigestion I'd had for years disappeared within a week, and my nutrient level spiked.
I knew all the tobacco, alcohol, and bad food was bad for me, but I was so unhappy, I did not care. I actually told people I was not interested in anything that would prolong my life, and smoking and eating poorly would help shorten the time I lived.
I also tried some things I did not "have time for" when I was at that job. I wanted to try belly dancing. I tried it. Got bored with the classes, but tried it. Always wanted to, goal accomplished.
I wanted to learn Native American beading. I sure did. Some days, that was all I worked on in between the job hunting, fruitless interviewing, and housekeeping. Which brings me to my next point.
I wanted to improve my marriage.
Now, granted, my husband is not any more perfect than the next husband, but he is a good man, and we are in love. Our relationship improved overnight, literally, when I no longer had that job. I discovered my husband's reliability, devotion, and he became my number one supporter following loss of the job. I wanted our sex life to improve...it did.... :)
I wanted to learn more about Indigenous history to be a better tour guide at my job. "Indian" caverns. I learned.
I spent a lot of time with my mother before she died. We never had a relationship in between her doses of narcotics and her violent fits. There's no room for anything between narcotics and violence. Anywhere. Having deteriorated to the point she could no longer be physically abusive, and aware of the fact I'd get up and leave if she got verbally abusive, I was able to actually have some normal conversations with her, eat some meals with her, and I now honor her on my ancestor altar. That was something I never thought would be accomplished, but miraculously, it was.
A goal was to work exclusively at the caverns. I always said I wish I could. This year, I did. I took on more responsibilities and earned an assistant management role. It was not as glamorous as being a Director, like I had been, but it was what I wanted. I got to deal with the budgeting, training, coordinating of programs, and be in the inner workings of the place. I even helped with toilets! I will always remember this as the best season I worked there- and if there was a way I could never work anyplace but there, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
I went to see about being a social worker, a chef, a cosmetologist, a Doctor of Theology, a Professor of History. Did not pursue these paths of study.
I took work in industrial printing and at a dollar store and at a fast food joint.
I went out of state to see about this film program, and volunteered at a theater helping with costumes.
I gave more tarot readings, and went to less meetups- because this is what I wanted. I shrugged off dealing with mediating Pagan drama to the point people don't even ask me to get involved anymore. I officiated at a Pagan Pride Day, and I managed to do so without my Priest helping me. Something I did not believe I was ready for.
I wanted to be sick less often. Abracadabra, it happened. Less stress, no tobacco, better foods, and less exposure to sick people meant less infections. Unfortunately, my husband got a new job working with more people who have kids than he had at his last job- so he dragged some infections home to me. But still less than before.
I also came to terms with the fact I have a problem that I denied all my life. I have anxiety disorder. I had to admit it when driving the car became impossible sometimes due to the anxiety. I had to give up highway driving entirely after being stranded on the side of highways alone more than once, and I had to give up out of town trips alone. Which meant I had to learn to rely on other people who I am involved with. It was a huge blow to my ego to have to admit I could NOT be designated driver anymore. I always wanted that job. It was fun. I felt in control. With that gone, I also had to learn to be less of a passenger seat driver. Beggars cannot be choosers, and nobody wants to give rides to somebody who will pick them to pieces in the process. It limited my freedom. Years ago, I'd jump in the car and go four hours away for the day if i so pleased without a word to anybody. I drove cross-country by myself. I left the country by myself. Suddenly, these things were not an option anymore- and I did not like ti one bit, and I still don't. I humbled myself and went to the doctor to see what could be done. Behavioral modification did not work, and neither did pills. I had to admit that I have a condition I may live with the rest of my life- one that is embarrassing, and one that limits me in ways I don't like.
I also realized, I'd been married to my job instead of Ted. Not good. I stressed at work. Stressed after work about what all happened, and before work, I dreaded going in. Days off, I counted down the hours I had left before I had to return, and I can remember waking up one day, unable to get out of bed because I was just not able to go to that place. The next day was the same, and then the weekend, I was off. I figured by Monday, after four days off, I'd feel better. I felt worse.
I worked regular Monday through Friday hours, and then evenings, weekends, and holidays as well.
There were fights in meetings, fights with corporate, layoffs followed by reports of IMPROVED profits while remaining staff doubled workloads, and constant un-constructive criticism from administration. Plus, there was administration change two or three times per year, and three different corporations owned our building in five years.
The field was in elder health care, and I learned at this job that some health care in this country is all about the guys on top getting rich off the patients and the lower staff being exploited by upper management. Further was the corrupt practice of over medicating for every ailment and the rut of debt people invariably fell into to pay rising costs for pharmaceuticals designed to fool patients who are in their 80's and up to believe their organ functioning can be drugged back into the functioning of a person in their 20's and 30's. I developed a strong distrust of medical care in general, most especially the nursing home and assisted care industry.
I loved my residents and their families, but after 11 years in health care, I burned out. Burned to a crisp. Burned up. Burned.
So once I stopped living at the job, I was able to start living my LIFE. My credit is ruined, and I am looking for employment still. But I have a roof over my head, reliable transportation, food, clothing, and all I need- most importantly, the people I love. I experienced things I never could have if I'd had that job. I'm not able to buy as much- which I sorely miss. But I will earn more money in the future.
This 21 month stretch has reinvented me. I have accepted the fact I am human and need help sometimes, and need to abandon "bright ideas" sometimes and set more attainable goals. Once, somebody who prided herself with attaining what was thought as impossible, I humbled myself to admit other people are just as capable and hardworking as I am and some shit is just not going to happen. I learned to reciprocate with people. I learned to accept as well as give. I learned to live on less money. I learned I am not my job- but who I am exists outside of all the things I do. I gave up an ego based on worldly success and learned pride in my own humanity. A good trade.
The job from hell behind me, the best is yet to come, and the time in between has really not been bad at all.
I'd realized I needed a change of career for a long long time, but stewed for a couple of years, indecisive as to what I wanted "to-be-when-I-grow-up" and too scared to quit.
It's a huge self-esteem blow not having a career- especially since I always have. Even in college, I was working some form of job, even if it was a volunteer position or just part-time.
The past 21 months has seen some bare patches. On unemployment for 13 months, financially, I survived. But the old me died. The old me who had all the answers. The one who met every goal she set, even when people said I couldn't or even shouldn't. The me who was both admired and hated for my accomplishments.
Unemployed, job hunting, interviewing and being picked over time after time, and school shopping , and getting no ah-ha moments as to which direction I was moving forward in destroyed my self-image. I had to admit that I could not accomplish every single I wanted to. I had to face the fact that, as a human being, there were limitations, whereas I had previously believed there WERE no limits to what I could do. I had believed people whop could not accomplish something were weak, flawed, incapable, lazy, or just plain inferior. I suddenly felt trapped, helpless, defeated- like I had become inferior overnight. I went from the extreme of feeling like the most capable being there was to feeling like the LEAST capable creature in Midgard. I gave up control and asked the gods to take over, thinking there would be results when I relinquished control and admitted I'm only human and can only do so much. I was unprepared for an answer that was different than the one I'd asked for.
The answer came as silence to the question of what to do, and lack of results I was expecting.
Worse yet, it became screamingly obvious my whole self-identity had been tied to my job, which was gone.
Unemployed and unable to move forward, who was I?
Had I become somebody else since I seemed to no longer be able to make shit happen? Would I ever get out of this rut and be in the drivers seat of my life again?
Perhaps I had accomplished the things I was born to and was waiting to reincarnate, and nothing would be accomplished until I crossed the veil?
The whole thing depressed me.
Time and again, in trying to make myself feel better, I sat down and wrote out lists of all I'd accomplished since I became jobless.
At the top of that was "I quit smoking." I was not a cigarette smoker, but a shi-sha smoker- the Middle Eastern tobacco pipe used with molasses treated tobacco. I observed co-workers going outside every hour or two and taking a 10-15 minute smoke break. I was not the only one who leaned on that drug as a crutch.
Quitting smoking was something I never could have done at that job. Sometimes, the job upset and stressed me to the point I was talking on my lunch break about how I could not wait to go smoke some tobacco and how much better I'd feel once I did. I admit to speeding on the way home and lighting up immediately once I got home some days. I'd then drink.
I would not say I'd become an alcoholic- but I will say, I would have made a very good one. Alcohol and tobacco got me through the days and weeks and years I was at that job. I still have alcohol, but significantly less. I went from about a bottle of wine a day to one bottle every week or two- spread out over the days.
I also gave up fast food. I researched food choices and healthy eating. I learned some new dished I'd always wanted to. Our food bill dropped because we ate at home more often. Indigestion I'd had for years disappeared within a week, and my nutrient level spiked.
I knew all the tobacco, alcohol, and bad food was bad for me, but I was so unhappy, I did not care. I actually told people I was not interested in anything that would prolong my life, and smoking and eating poorly would help shorten the time I lived.
I also tried some things I did not "have time for" when I was at that job. I wanted to try belly dancing. I tried it. Got bored with the classes, but tried it. Always wanted to, goal accomplished.
I wanted to learn Native American beading. I sure did. Some days, that was all I worked on in between the job hunting, fruitless interviewing, and housekeeping. Which brings me to my next point.
I wanted to improve my marriage.
Now, granted, my husband is not any more perfect than the next husband, but he is a good man, and we are in love. Our relationship improved overnight, literally, when I no longer had that job. I discovered my husband's reliability, devotion, and he became my number one supporter following loss of the job. I wanted our sex life to improve...it did.... :)
I wanted to learn more about Indigenous history to be a better tour guide at my job. "Indian" caverns. I learned.
I spent a lot of time with my mother before she died. We never had a relationship in between her doses of narcotics and her violent fits. There's no room for anything between narcotics and violence. Anywhere. Having deteriorated to the point she could no longer be physically abusive, and aware of the fact I'd get up and leave if she got verbally abusive, I was able to actually have some normal conversations with her, eat some meals with her, and I now honor her on my ancestor altar. That was something I never thought would be accomplished, but miraculously, it was.
A goal was to work exclusively at the caverns. I always said I wish I could. This year, I did. I took on more responsibilities and earned an assistant management role. It was not as glamorous as being a Director, like I had been, but it was what I wanted. I got to deal with the budgeting, training, coordinating of programs, and be in the inner workings of the place. I even helped with toilets! I will always remember this as the best season I worked there- and if there was a way I could never work anyplace but there, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
I went to see about being a social worker, a chef, a cosmetologist, a Doctor of Theology, a Professor of History. Did not pursue these paths of study.
I took work in industrial printing and at a dollar store and at a fast food joint.
I went out of state to see about this film program, and volunteered at a theater helping with costumes.
I gave more tarot readings, and went to less meetups- because this is what I wanted. I shrugged off dealing with mediating Pagan drama to the point people don't even ask me to get involved anymore. I officiated at a Pagan Pride Day, and I managed to do so without my Priest helping me. Something I did not believe I was ready for.
I wanted to be sick less often. Abracadabra, it happened. Less stress, no tobacco, better foods, and less exposure to sick people meant less infections. Unfortunately, my husband got a new job working with more people who have kids than he had at his last job- so he dragged some infections home to me. But still less than before.
I also came to terms with the fact I have a problem that I denied all my life. I have anxiety disorder. I had to admit it when driving the car became impossible sometimes due to the anxiety. I had to give up highway driving entirely after being stranded on the side of highways alone more than once, and I had to give up out of town trips alone. Which meant I had to learn to rely on other people who I am involved with. It was a huge blow to my ego to have to admit I could NOT be designated driver anymore. I always wanted that job. It was fun. I felt in control. With that gone, I also had to learn to be less of a passenger seat driver. Beggars cannot be choosers, and nobody wants to give rides to somebody who will pick them to pieces in the process. It limited my freedom. Years ago, I'd jump in the car and go four hours away for the day if i so pleased without a word to anybody. I drove cross-country by myself. I left the country by myself. Suddenly, these things were not an option anymore- and I did not like ti one bit, and I still don't. I humbled myself and went to the doctor to see what could be done. Behavioral modification did not work, and neither did pills. I had to admit that I have a condition I may live with the rest of my life- one that is embarrassing, and one that limits me in ways I don't like.
I also realized, I'd been married to my job instead of Ted. Not good. I stressed at work. Stressed after work about what all happened, and before work, I dreaded going in. Days off, I counted down the hours I had left before I had to return, and I can remember waking up one day, unable to get out of bed because I was just not able to go to that place. The next day was the same, and then the weekend, I was off. I figured by Monday, after four days off, I'd feel better. I felt worse.
I worked regular Monday through Friday hours, and then evenings, weekends, and holidays as well.
There were fights in meetings, fights with corporate, layoffs followed by reports of IMPROVED profits while remaining staff doubled workloads, and constant un-constructive criticism from administration. Plus, there was administration change two or three times per year, and three different corporations owned our building in five years.
The field was in elder health care, and I learned at this job that some health care in this country is all about the guys on top getting rich off the patients and the lower staff being exploited by upper management. Further was the corrupt practice of over medicating for every ailment and the rut of debt people invariably fell into to pay rising costs for pharmaceuticals designed to fool patients who are in their 80's and up to believe their organ functioning can be drugged back into the functioning of a person in their 20's and 30's. I developed a strong distrust of medical care in general, most especially the nursing home and assisted care industry.
I loved my residents and their families, but after 11 years in health care, I burned out. Burned to a crisp. Burned up. Burned.
So once I stopped living at the job, I was able to start living my LIFE. My credit is ruined, and I am looking for employment still. But I have a roof over my head, reliable transportation, food, clothing, and all I need- most importantly, the people I love. I experienced things I never could have if I'd had that job. I'm not able to buy as much- which I sorely miss. But I will earn more money in the future.
This 21 month stretch has reinvented me. I have accepted the fact I am human and need help sometimes, and need to abandon "bright ideas" sometimes and set more attainable goals. Once, somebody who prided herself with attaining what was thought as impossible, I humbled myself to admit other people are just as capable and hardworking as I am and some shit is just not going to happen. I learned to reciprocate with people. I learned to accept as well as give. I learned to live on less money. I learned I am not my job- but who I am exists outside of all the things I do. I gave up an ego based on worldly success and learned pride in my own humanity. A good trade.
The job from hell behind me, the best is yet to come, and the time in between has really not been bad at all.
Monday, November 4, 2013
An open letter to Christians about spirit possession and Satan
I know a devout Christian. Very devout, which I find refreshing in the day and age when so many go to church to listen to rock music and drink coffee and have somebody babysit their kids for free. This Xtian goes to church, teaches Sunday school, keeps the ten commandments, studies her ass off, you name it. She actually loves her neighbor as herself.
We discuss religion. A lot, because it means a lot to both of us. It's been good for me to openly explain certain things pertaining to Wicca to somebody who I genuinely love because I learned how to do so without taking offense, and I have openly listened to what somebody who belongs to a religion I left a long time ago has to say about her own personal devotion. I wish more people would have open dialogues with adherents to other faiths like this.
My friends devotion has not only put the love of god into her, but also a ear of Satan. She speaks at length about resisting temptation to do things I feel are quite normal, and not bad at all, and about how her god gave free will and it is everybody's job to repel Satan, who rules this world, and will eventually lose and everybody who gives in to him will go to hell.
One day, the topic of demonic possession came up. She said Satan wants to take as many people to hell with him as possible I have a family member who likewise believes this and quakes from fear from time to time, begging god to deliver her from Satan.
Back when I was a Christian, I had the same fears and had been taught the same thing. The devil was the boogie man my mom used to make me behave sometimes. I will never forget one night, before I was in school, mom had me convinced the devil had come to collect me. She had put me to bed. I can't remember how many times. She was a single mom, and I was rambunctious, and sometimes, would not stay put, and she needed to get her ass up the next day and work, so not sleeping because I was wanting to keep her up was not happening. My whole toddler-hood was like this. So anyhow she had put me to sleep, and I heard a sound at my window- it was probably the wind or rain- and I wanted to sleep in her room. She said no. I told her about the sounds. She said it was probably the devil scratching at my window. I was forced back to my own room, and recall seeing what was most likely just the shadow of an old gnarled tree branch being whipped about by the storm- but what appeared to me as a clawed hand scratching at the window.
This is the same woman who put tooth fairy money under my pillow and wrote "from Santa" on my Christmas presents. She took me to see the Easter Bunny, and took countless pictures of all the above.
So, when I was a Catholic teen, starting to psychically awaken, I was horrified and had nobody to talk to. I was convinced Satan was after me, and was inconsolable. I went to the church, and got vials of Holy water and asked them to help me because Satan was trying to take me. When I ran out of crucifixes for the doorways, I made more out of bobby pins, and I could not sleep well, and wound up heavily sedated and in the mental ward. They eventually gave me a drug that lowered my white blood count, aside from making me a zombie, and I was completely incapacitated for 22 hours some days. I remember going five days without doing any hygiene at all before, and being too weak to eat.
Hollywood did not help. The images they create of innocent women and girls- just the age range I was- helpless to a horrible demon who was torturing their pure, innocent bodies, horrified me to the extreme, because I believed that is what was happening to me. All the while, I prayed to be "delivered from evil."
Evil was defined as the devil getting you.
But Biblically, it is defined as nasty things and decisions human beings make. Things people did to one another that created strain in relations with god and with others.
Yet, the prayer is not "Help me to make good decisions that bring me closer to you and other people," thus acknowledging human beings responsibility. NO- they want god to DELIVER them- thus doing it for them. Words have power. If you say something often enough, you believe it. These folks are walking around, believing they are helpless to a Satan, when the Bible states god made man a little lower than the angels. If Satan is indeed a "fallen" angel, and man is not fallen- then man is above Satan and does not need to be afraid of him possessing them.
So on one hand, these folks say they have accepted Jesus, and many of them state once they belong to the Holy Spirit, nothing can harm them, yet they live in constant fear of Satan. Both things can't be true. It is one or the other.
Considering the billions of human beings who have existed for thousands of years, god and this devil would have to be pretty interested in just ONE individual to monitor their every little thought and word.
According to Biblical writings- no, I will not list scriptures here- if you are Christian, and don't know what passes I refer to- put this blog away and go read your Bible- Your salvation is YOUR responsibility, and nobody can sabotage it. Only you can.
People forget Jesus was Jewish- not a Christian worshiping himself- their faith was stricter and had more observances. You were held accountable for what YOU did, and nobody could do anything for you. Christians say Jesus did away with all these expectations when he died- so all they have to do is believe- no matter how they treat each other, and no matter what they do to people, all they have to do is believe and they will be okay.
Wishful thinking at best. Kind of like belief in the tooth fairy.
Taking responsibility for your own life and your own decisions is living your faith, not thinking somebody loves you and died. It has nothing to do with visiting a building a couple times a week and doing potluck gatherings and discussions about religious topics. It's got nothing to do with passing church flyers at restaurants instead of tipping your servers and absolutely nothing to do with protesting veterans funerals.
Back to spirit possession- regardless of being baptized or accepting a god or not- you cannot, under any circumstances, be possessed by a spirit unless you allow it.
Each of us has at least one spirit in us- OURS. Asking a spirit, including one of a dead relative, a god, a demon, an animal spirit, you name it- to come into you- or allowing it to if it asks is a personal choice you have a right to make. They have to leave when you tell them to. They cannot trap you. They can convince you to let them stay, and that is your right as well. But this Hollywood, and scared Christian suspicion Satan can take you against your will- it's bullshit. Don't buy into it.
If you believe "The Holy Spirit" resides inside of you along with your own personal spirit, and you belong to this holy spirit, that is a case of spirit possession.
If you believe your holy spirit is more powerful than demons and will not let demons touch you- then you need not fear demons- or the one you believe is the king of demons, Satan.
So why pray all the time for god to "deliver you from evil?" Do you believe he will forget unless you remind him? Do you think he will get mad at you for something you have done- some "sin" and allow Satan to get you as punishment?
Why not simply follow your own advice you dispense liberally to those who are uninterested and BELIEVE what you say your god told you?
If you believe you are saved, then it's done and over with already and you do not have to be re-saved ten times a week. Stop being scared and insecure, and just BELIEVE.
Focus on your relationship with that god you say chose you and watches over you . Focus on it by taking responsibility for it. Do not leave it all to your god, and ask him to do it all for you. Deliver YOURSELF. Make your god proud of you.
"But," you say,"the devil tempts me to stray." You think this? I do not. But for the sake of discussion, I will pretend I do. So, you get tempted to do something you feel is wrong. Whose fault is it of you decide to do it? the devils? Do you need delivered from him if he is tempting you? NO. it's your decision and it would be your fault. that is how what you call free will works.
As human beings, we think very highly of ourselves, believing a god and a demon king of evil would concern themselves with nothing but fighting over us for all of time.
I disagree.
Here is what i think.
Human beings all over the world, from all cultures, for all of time, have created our gods in our own image. We pick up on higher power, and ascribe human qualities, and put ourselves about all other species. Deity represents those qualities we are proud of. Justice, kindness, love, peace, plenty, immortality, wisdom, beauty, victory- we want to win all the time, don't we? A god is all that. The good stuff. Satan is just the asshole side of us we are ashamed of. He's inappropriate, bawdy, probably smells bad and eats poorly, he's most likely a drunk or druggie, his ways are disease inducing and obscene. he probably farts in public and makes passes at other people's wives. He doesn't get along with anybody, and if he was gay, he'd beat his boyfriend, I bet. I suppose he'd never hold down a job, and would mooch off everybody. I bet he's even got lice and dandruff and his socks don't match. He lies , he steals, he cheats, and all he cares about is himself. He's anti-establishment, and wants the system to fuck itself, but he wants to be the one telling everybody else what to do. He probably smells like ass and does not keep his laundry up. He wants god to go fuck himself and stop being such a goody two shoes. He just can't do anything right, can he? He is all the nasty, unhealthy stuff we are ashamed of about ourselves.
Even I wrote more about Satan than I did about the Abrahamic god. And I don't believe in either of them per se.
There is just so much more emphasis on what NOT to do and how NOT to be, than there is on what TO do and how TO be from Christians in general, that I know ore about what they reject than what they embrace.
So, Christians, just what DO you want to be? Do you want a god to deliver you from what you perceive is evil, or do you want to participate in a relationship with who you worship and take responsibility for your actions? You cannot do both. One is running from something you think is bad, and the other is walking proudly with your god. One mindset views humanity as pathetic and incapable, and the other views us as noble, and just, and able.
Your "sins" and "vices" are just a basic part of human nature. For example, lust is viewed as bad. Without list, people would never enjoy sex, and seldom have kids, and the species would die out. Sex is a huge stress reducer and if the sex is good, relationships improve. But not with the dog, or the neighbors 16 year old. We are wired for sex. But it is up to each individual how they handle this. It is not the devil using your weak desire for sex to try and take you from god. And it is not god using it to test you.
If you believe god made you in gods image, then how can you tear yourself down and say how awful you are? You would be criticizing your creator. If you believe your creator is good, and wise, and capable, and just, and that you are in that image- then so are you.
Having written all this, I have a special request for you Christians out there. I would like you to please stop misrepresenting your god and the way decision making occurs, and start having a real relationship with what you worship. The goal is not being rescued from a nasty, evil demon king and being possessed by demons and going to hell and suffering like the movies show it.
If, as adults, your faith has not matured to a relationship beyond asking god to make it all less scary- then spiritually, you are no more mature than a little kid who thinks a tree branch is Satan trying to get into her window- or the adult who convinced her of it.
As for the clergy- you are the parents of your parishioners. They look to you for answers. It is much easier to scare them into obedience with fear of suffering and punishment or to push them on with promises of rewards with paradise- but it shows that you feel they are self-centered, childish idiots who are worshiping just to benefit themselves.
You Christians have a pretty bad rep these days, you know?
Too many of you "hate fags", expect women to be baby factories, proselytize, hate the "foreigners" and the Muslims, say you hate sex, then molest children, and try and cover it up, you misappropriate thousands of tithe dollars you were entrusted with. People have not forgotten the Inquisition, the Crusades, the role your faith played in the genocide of the Americas and the Transcontinental Slave Trade.
The devil did not make you do it all. YOU do it all.
The key to not doing all that nasty shit is shifting the focus from Satan and thinking if you believe a rabbi died and is god that everything you do is okay- to holding yourself accountable, and living your faith.
I love my Christian friend and my Christian family member. The fact they are Christians worries me. Not because of YHVH and Jesus, but because of what Christianity has become. I don't like the concept of salvation because it creates a mindset of personal helplessness and shifts responsibility away from the individual.
Christians, please shift the responsibility back.
I don't like the idea of a land of eternal rewards or eternal punishments because it shifts the focus from doing what you know is right for the sake of doing right to just doing it for personal satisfaction.
Some of you Christians make this earth the land of hell for people because you think you can get by with it and get off because you are saved.
I implore you to focus on personal responsibility and your personal relationship with your god and forget having a demon king to fear and blame.
Some of you become your Satan with your deeds, and that is a personal choice to do what is within you to do- not loss of control based on some evil spirit.
Live your faith, and don't make other people's lives miserable.
Blessed Be from your local Wiccan Blogger.
We discuss religion. A lot, because it means a lot to both of us. It's been good for me to openly explain certain things pertaining to Wicca to somebody who I genuinely love because I learned how to do so without taking offense, and I have openly listened to what somebody who belongs to a religion I left a long time ago has to say about her own personal devotion. I wish more people would have open dialogues with adherents to other faiths like this.
My friends devotion has not only put the love of god into her, but also a ear of Satan. She speaks at length about resisting temptation to do things I feel are quite normal, and not bad at all, and about how her god gave free will and it is everybody's job to repel Satan, who rules this world, and will eventually lose and everybody who gives in to him will go to hell.
One day, the topic of demonic possession came up. She said Satan wants to take as many people to hell with him as possible I have a family member who likewise believes this and quakes from fear from time to time, begging god to deliver her from Satan.
Back when I was a Christian, I had the same fears and had been taught the same thing. The devil was the boogie man my mom used to make me behave sometimes. I will never forget one night, before I was in school, mom had me convinced the devil had come to collect me. She had put me to bed. I can't remember how many times. She was a single mom, and I was rambunctious, and sometimes, would not stay put, and she needed to get her ass up the next day and work, so not sleeping because I was wanting to keep her up was not happening. My whole toddler-hood was like this. So anyhow she had put me to sleep, and I heard a sound at my window- it was probably the wind or rain- and I wanted to sleep in her room. She said no. I told her about the sounds. She said it was probably the devil scratching at my window. I was forced back to my own room, and recall seeing what was most likely just the shadow of an old gnarled tree branch being whipped about by the storm- but what appeared to me as a clawed hand scratching at the window.
This is the same woman who put tooth fairy money under my pillow and wrote "from Santa" on my Christmas presents. She took me to see the Easter Bunny, and took countless pictures of all the above.
So, when I was a Catholic teen, starting to psychically awaken, I was horrified and had nobody to talk to. I was convinced Satan was after me, and was inconsolable. I went to the church, and got vials of Holy water and asked them to help me because Satan was trying to take me. When I ran out of crucifixes for the doorways, I made more out of bobby pins, and I could not sleep well, and wound up heavily sedated and in the mental ward. They eventually gave me a drug that lowered my white blood count, aside from making me a zombie, and I was completely incapacitated for 22 hours some days. I remember going five days without doing any hygiene at all before, and being too weak to eat.
Hollywood did not help. The images they create of innocent women and girls- just the age range I was- helpless to a horrible demon who was torturing their pure, innocent bodies, horrified me to the extreme, because I believed that is what was happening to me. All the while, I prayed to be "delivered from evil."
Evil was defined as the devil getting you.
But Biblically, it is defined as nasty things and decisions human beings make. Things people did to one another that created strain in relations with god and with others.
Yet, the prayer is not "Help me to make good decisions that bring me closer to you and other people," thus acknowledging human beings responsibility. NO- they want god to DELIVER them- thus doing it for them. Words have power. If you say something often enough, you believe it. These folks are walking around, believing they are helpless to a Satan, when the Bible states god made man a little lower than the angels. If Satan is indeed a "fallen" angel, and man is not fallen- then man is above Satan and does not need to be afraid of him possessing them.
So on one hand, these folks say they have accepted Jesus, and many of them state once they belong to the Holy Spirit, nothing can harm them, yet they live in constant fear of Satan. Both things can't be true. It is one or the other.
Considering the billions of human beings who have existed for thousands of years, god and this devil would have to be pretty interested in just ONE individual to monitor their every little thought and word.
According to Biblical writings- no, I will not list scriptures here- if you are Christian, and don't know what passes I refer to- put this blog away and go read your Bible- Your salvation is YOUR responsibility, and nobody can sabotage it. Only you can.
People forget Jesus was Jewish- not a Christian worshiping himself- their faith was stricter and had more observances. You were held accountable for what YOU did, and nobody could do anything for you. Christians say Jesus did away with all these expectations when he died- so all they have to do is believe- no matter how they treat each other, and no matter what they do to people, all they have to do is believe and they will be okay.
Wishful thinking at best. Kind of like belief in the tooth fairy.
Taking responsibility for your own life and your own decisions is living your faith, not thinking somebody loves you and died. It has nothing to do with visiting a building a couple times a week and doing potluck gatherings and discussions about religious topics. It's got nothing to do with passing church flyers at restaurants instead of tipping your servers and absolutely nothing to do with protesting veterans funerals.
Back to spirit possession- regardless of being baptized or accepting a god or not- you cannot, under any circumstances, be possessed by a spirit unless you allow it.
Each of us has at least one spirit in us- OURS. Asking a spirit, including one of a dead relative, a god, a demon, an animal spirit, you name it- to come into you- or allowing it to if it asks is a personal choice you have a right to make. They have to leave when you tell them to. They cannot trap you. They can convince you to let them stay, and that is your right as well. But this Hollywood, and scared Christian suspicion Satan can take you against your will- it's bullshit. Don't buy into it.
If you believe "The Holy Spirit" resides inside of you along with your own personal spirit, and you belong to this holy spirit, that is a case of spirit possession.
If you believe your holy spirit is more powerful than demons and will not let demons touch you- then you need not fear demons- or the one you believe is the king of demons, Satan.
So why pray all the time for god to "deliver you from evil?" Do you believe he will forget unless you remind him? Do you think he will get mad at you for something you have done- some "sin" and allow Satan to get you as punishment?
Why not simply follow your own advice you dispense liberally to those who are uninterested and BELIEVE what you say your god told you?
If you believe you are saved, then it's done and over with already and you do not have to be re-saved ten times a week. Stop being scared and insecure, and just BELIEVE.
Focus on your relationship with that god you say chose you and watches over you . Focus on it by taking responsibility for it. Do not leave it all to your god, and ask him to do it all for you. Deliver YOURSELF. Make your god proud of you.
"But," you say,"the devil tempts me to stray." You think this? I do not. But for the sake of discussion, I will pretend I do. So, you get tempted to do something you feel is wrong. Whose fault is it of you decide to do it? the devils? Do you need delivered from him if he is tempting you? NO. it's your decision and it would be your fault. that is how what you call free will works.
As human beings, we think very highly of ourselves, believing a god and a demon king of evil would concern themselves with nothing but fighting over us for all of time.
I disagree.
Here is what i think.
Human beings all over the world, from all cultures, for all of time, have created our gods in our own image. We pick up on higher power, and ascribe human qualities, and put ourselves about all other species. Deity represents those qualities we are proud of. Justice, kindness, love, peace, plenty, immortality, wisdom, beauty, victory- we want to win all the time, don't we? A god is all that. The good stuff. Satan is just the asshole side of us we are ashamed of. He's inappropriate, bawdy, probably smells bad and eats poorly, he's most likely a drunk or druggie, his ways are disease inducing and obscene. he probably farts in public and makes passes at other people's wives. He doesn't get along with anybody, and if he was gay, he'd beat his boyfriend, I bet. I suppose he'd never hold down a job, and would mooch off everybody. I bet he's even got lice and dandruff and his socks don't match. He lies , he steals, he cheats, and all he cares about is himself. He's anti-establishment, and wants the system to fuck itself, but he wants to be the one telling everybody else what to do. He probably smells like ass and does not keep his laundry up. He wants god to go fuck himself and stop being such a goody two shoes. He just can't do anything right, can he? He is all the nasty, unhealthy stuff we are ashamed of about ourselves.
Even I wrote more about Satan than I did about the Abrahamic god. And I don't believe in either of them per se.
There is just so much more emphasis on what NOT to do and how NOT to be, than there is on what TO do and how TO be from Christians in general, that I know ore about what they reject than what they embrace.
So, Christians, just what DO you want to be? Do you want a god to deliver you from what you perceive is evil, or do you want to participate in a relationship with who you worship and take responsibility for your actions? You cannot do both. One is running from something you think is bad, and the other is walking proudly with your god. One mindset views humanity as pathetic and incapable, and the other views us as noble, and just, and able.
Your "sins" and "vices" are just a basic part of human nature. For example, lust is viewed as bad. Without list, people would never enjoy sex, and seldom have kids, and the species would die out. Sex is a huge stress reducer and if the sex is good, relationships improve. But not with the dog, or the neighbors 16 year old. We are wired for sex. But it is up to each individual how they handle this. It is not the devil using your weak desire for sex to try and take you from god. And it is not god using it to test you.
If you believe god made you in gods image, then how can you tear yourself down and say how awful you are? You would be criticizing your creator. If you believe your creator is good, and wise, and capable, and just, and that you are in that image- then so are you.
Having written all this, I have a special request for you Christians out there. I would like you to please stop misrepresenting your god and the way decision making occurs, and start having a real relationship with what you worship. The goal is not being rescued from a nasty, evil demon king and being possessed by demons and going to hell and suffering like the movies show it.
If, as adults, your faith has not matured to a relationship beyond asking god to make it all less scary- then spiritually, you are no more mature than a little kid who thinks a tree branch is Satan trying to get into her window- or the adult who convinced her of it.
As for the clergy- you are the parents of your parishioners. They look to you for answers. It is much easier to scare them into obedience with fear of suffering and punishment or to push them on with promises of rewards with paradise- but it shows that you feel they are self-centered, childish idiots who are worshiping just to benefit themselves.
You Christians have a pretty bad rep these days, you know?
Too many of you "hate fags", expect women to be baby factories, proselytize, hate the "foreigners" and the Muslims, say you hate sex, then molest children, and try and cover it up, you misappropriate thousands of tithe dollars you were entrusted with. People have not forgotten the Inquisition, the Crusades, the role your faith played in the genocide of the Americas and the Transcontinental Slave Trade.
The devil did not make you do it all. YOU do it all.
The key to not doing all that nasty shit is shifting the focus from Satan and thinking if you believe a rabbi died and is god that everything you do is okay- to holding yourself accountable, and living your faith.
I love my Christian friend and my Christian family member. The fact they are Christians worries me. Not because of YHVH and Jesus, but because of what Christianity has become. I don't like the concept of salvation because it creates a mindset of personal helplessness and shifts responsibility away from the individual.
Christians, please shift the responsibility back.
I don't like the idea of a land of eternal rewards or eternal punishments because it shifts the focus from doing what you know is right for the sake of doing right to just doing it for personal satisfaction.
Some of you Christians make this earth the land of hell for people because you think you can get by with it and get off because you are saved.
I implore you to focus on personal responsibility and your personal relationship with your god and forget having a demon king to fear and blame.
Some of you become your Satan with your deeds, and that is a personal choice to do what is within you to do- not loss of control based on some evil spirit.
Live your faith, and don't make other people's lives miserable.
Blessed Be from your local Wiccan Blogger.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
On making a residence your HOME- and how it is a magical operation...
Welcome Home.
That means something different to each person who hears it.
The thought of home may conjure up images of family gatherings in days of yesteryear, or images of the end of your marriage. You may think of your crash pad, or your party pad. It may be a place you share with people who you cannot stand, and it may be the only place where you want to be.
A friend once tole me a house is a hole in the ground you pour money into. It certainly CAN be, but it does not have to be.
Today, Americans struggle with home ownership. What was yesterday's great "American Dream" has become for many, the greatest American Nightmare. Read the news. There are constant reports of foreclosures. Just this past weekend, i visited an open house where a wide eyed, aristocratic individual beamed how she and her spouse had bought said house as a foreclosure and gutted it and flipped it for profit. She said the place was in contract, but they were showing it anyhow. I could not help but think of the man who lost the house where he'd lived for decades, and I wondered how much he had owed to some lender to earn him the punishment of banishment and homelessness. I also could not help but notice where they cut quite a few corners making the house all neutral to sell. It felt cold and sterile, and if you will excuse the pun, I could not help but notice the echoing click her designer shoes made on the cold laminate floors.
Home, my ass.
A lot of folks see their residences as a place for everything but living. It's a financial investment. It's s status symbol. It's to prove something to your neighbors. "Our yard work is BETTER than theirs." It becomes a drudge for some people who struggle with maintenance costs and get swindled by greedy "professionals" who tell you that the most expensive fix will ONLY do.
Rather than a joy, a sanctuary, a castle, and an honor, home has become a burden on many.
Finances aside, it's an attitude. We live in a culture of excess and overspending. We live beyond our means and we do not take care of our health. We overeat, sleep too little, exercise just to stay thin, and pack the house with unnatural things advertisers claim we MUST have, and since everybody else seems to have it, well, we just to TOO. Right?
Wrong.
Our homes reflect how we live, and how we live is in essence who we Are.
What it shows in many of today's homes is this is the place where we sleep poorly, watch TV, eat processed foods, and read publications advertisers TELL us to. Many homeowners have no control of their own homes because they have surrendered it to some brand or firm or design label.
Before we go any further, I will tell you something. i am giving you full permission to cast all that off. I give you permission to stop living somebody else's dream and start living your own reality. If you want hoochie mama pink walls, then have it so. If you want to keep that old couch because it was your grandma's- even though everybody says it's ghastly- then KEEP it. If you want all black candles, then have all black candles. And so on and so forth. There is no RIGHT style to have a home, but there are things that a home should be, and many homes are just not these days.
What home should be:
1) Yours. Period. Each person and family is different. As are needs different. Some need a home office, some need quiet. Some need hustle and bustle, some need calm and to be undisturbed. The decision is yours. Just don't make it a place that does not work as an oppressive space...do not let it deplete your finances or your well being. It is to SUPPORT you and your needs, not drain you and your bank account.
2) An extension of how you live.
3) Free of clutter. We are mass consumers. We take in and we poop out a lot. Some of which just lays around the house and is worth literally as much as yesterday's poop as far as I am concerned. You don't hear about people with hoarding disorder in the poor streets of Calcutta. We hoarde and mass consume because we can. Well, stop it already. you are drowning yourself in stuff. Stuff I bet you would not miss if it mysteriously disappeared one day. Sentiments and keepsakes are important, but everything you ever got is not a sentimental item. Purge, and clear out all that you possibly can. if you have not used it in two years, it has got to go. "Well, I spent good money on that.So I',m keeping it!!!!!" That is true, but it's a mistake, and it has to stop. Stop the needless spending and stop justifying clutter. i encourage you to donate as much as possible to non-profit places. Nobody will pay what you paid for it unless it's an antique or collector's piece. And, most likely, half the stuff people think is worth money is not. Free yourself of the unnecessary stuff.
4) Things in their place and rooms set up for a certain function. The bedroom is for sleeping and intimacy. Not for TV watching and late night working. The kitchens ins for eating, not working on the car engine. the living area is a do-all space for entertaining and socializing. Not a bedroom and not a bathroom. the bathroom is for hygiene and should be a place of healing- thus all this new "spa" themed paraphernalia stores make a killing with. I realize not everybody has a big home or separate rooms for everything they need to do. Even if all you have is a studio apartmennt, or one room in a place you share with roommates, there are things you can do to support your needs. You may not be able to do EVERYTHING, but you can do some.
5) Colors, materials, and smells are appropriate for the function. I will talk a lot about these things. this has to do with human psychology. Back when the New Agers and early Neo-Pagans talked in length about aromatherapy, and color vibrations, people brushed it away as sensationalist bs. But now science supports it. Color, smell, texture, taste, and sound influence wellbeing. Choose these things well in your home, and you will be healthier psychologically, which trickles down to better body health. It matters. It takes some experimenting, but it is worth it. Really, though. Instinctively, people gravitate toward certain colors and smells and textures, and that should be embraced, not ignored.
6) A Scared Space. Your home may be your castle and your world away from the world. It is a physical manifestation of what you are on the inside. It is sacred, it is holy, it is a sanctuary, and a temple. A house that is in a shambles is a sign of a life that is in shambles. You can be poor and have a good life. You can be rich and have a life that is in tatters. Your house can be organized and beautiful and well-done, but your life can still be empty. These may be the minimalists. Your life can be full to the point of being too full, and nearly break you. These may be the hoarders. Not always, though.
7) A good mover of energy. yes, I said it. Home is a magical operation. Magic is defined , by me, at least, as moving energy. You put energy, or work toward something, that gives it power, and makes things happen. There are so many ways to do so. The power of your intent can do it, and arranging things in a certain way can also do so. Ever seen a roadblock? It's just stuff cluttering an area. It's designed to get people to stay out of one area and move into another. It works! Well, some people's entire homes are roadblocks. A glaring streetlight outside your bedroom window can make you not sleep well. Put up curtains and block out that light, and hocus pocus! You can sleep better!!!!!!!! Easier than loading up a cauldron with eye of snake and wing of fly, and a pretty mundane way to cause a reaction, but it made a result anyhow. You moved fabric to block light waves, and your body reacted favorably. We will be discussing a lot of different magical operations, if you will, to make your home support your goals and needs. (cackle cackle)
To clarify. This is a book about making a space a home. But this is not a design article. It's not a how-to guide to make your home look like a piece of museum or gallery art or like something out of a tv show or magazine.
It is all about transforming your rooms into spaces of comfort, healthy living, and to create sacred spaces. Each person's home should reflect their needs and goals, not somebody else's needs and goals.
Home is your sanctuary, your castle, you place to be removed from that which vexes you. It is where you go to recharge and create. Transforming it can transform you. A carefully done home is more important than a carefully done wardrobe.
Home is what you make it to be. You do not have to be a designer, an artist, or a custom builder to create your home well.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Sunday
Sunday. I am alone. It's a horrible reality these days. I used to be swamped with people, overwhelmed with all these strangers, all wanting something from me, and going away once they'd gotten it. I decided to stop giving, see who was left around after that. Few. Precious few. And all of us, every last one of us gloriously busy with some important thing or another. Little by little, life has whittled me down to this. Perhaps as punishment because I don't want to be as a tree people only visit to strip of its fruit. Perhaps I've outlived my usefulness and that is the only reason I was born. To give all that I have. The aloneness is the very last thing I have left that is fully mine. Sometimes, I try to ignore it so it's not mine either. Like I want to be left with nothing. I send the aloneness away when I go to work or visit with somebody, but it always creeps back. I bundle it up, and throw it off, high high into the stars, or past the mountains , or far below the waters, tied to the heaviest rock I can find, and always, it finds its way back to me. Sometimes, it is all that I can call my own, and I cling to it like it's oxygen. Other times, I run like hell from it, and don't care if I can breathe or not. And it is the times in between, when I can't decide whether I want the aloneness or not, when I'm confused, or perhaps indecisive, and I don't even have knowledge of what I prefer- it's those in between times when the aloneness is strongest, most present. When I cannot even define what I want. If I don't know what I want, am I still alive? My heart beats, and I eat and sleep and work- but without meaning, or desire, am I still here, or have I left myself and gone someplace else that I'm unaware of? What is there to come back to if I am gone? What is there but quiet, and time, and the holes, and cracks, and emptiness from things that occupied my yesterdays that I've been unable to fill today? Will I bring back something to give meaning and fullness to tomorrow from that nameless place I must go to, that place nobody knows, not even me? Inbetween cups of coffee, I write this, not knowing if anybody sees, or what will happen if the do see? Does anybody else on earth ever feel this way? Does it matter?
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
The Two Spirit Series- last and only existing article
I was a volunteer writer for The Gay Community News for a few months. I resigned today because articles that were published mysteriously disappeared and I was not happy how the editor handled my asking him about it.
I interviewed people for these articles because I believe their stories deserve told.
While I understand that shit happens sometimes, I am not content to just throw out all the people who took the time to respond said. It is difficult to share, especially to a stranger. To share personal parts of your life and opinions deserves respect and honor.
The third and final article was the only one I have been able to salvage- because I was too stupid and trusting to save a copy of the drafts myself. Had I been careful to do so, all that was said would not have been lost. I accept full responsibility for this.
I had some personal reflection in this article. It's long, and I have removed the images the editor added. The writing is intact, and I share it with you now.
I express my respect for all the people who shared their life stories, their opinions, and their valuable time. I apologize for loss of 2/3 of your sharing.
Blessed Be.
I interviewed people for these articles because I believe their stories deserve told.
While I understand that shit happens sometimes, I am not content to just throw out all the people who took the time to respond said. It is difficult to share, especially to a stranger. To share personal parts of your life and opinions deserves respect and honor.
The third and final article was the only one I have been able to salvage- because I was too stupid and trusting to save a copy of the drafts myself. Had I been careful to do so, all that was said would not have been lost. I accept full responsibility for this.
I had some personal reflection in this article. It's long, and I have removed the images the editor added. The writing is intact, and I share it with you now.
I express my respect for all the people who shared their life stories, their opinions, and their valuable time. I apologize for loss of 2/3 of your sharing.
Blessed Be.
The third and final article in this series has taken me a long time.
I e-mailed and quizzed people. Then I pondered. I realized what took me so long is that I was so very disturbed by a few responses, and I just did not know how to write about it because my mind wanted to block this ugly truth out. To write about it, I had to accept it existed, and I was not ready to do that. I’m still not. But I’m doing it anyways.
Some Indigenous Americans are so very pleased they are assimilated because they view the old pre-Christian practices as wicked and sinful and they are grateful they don’t think they are going to hell like they think their ancestors are. Some are ashamed of their ancestors.
As a person who has cast off dominant society’s constraints and even the dominant religion, embracing and reclaiming some of my ancestral traditions, it hurts me to see people being happy their cultural and ancestral ways were crushed. Because they think it is pleasing to god.
As a clergy person in training, and one who acts as clergy, it hurts me that people view their god this way. Granted, YHVH and Jesus are not my gods, but I’ve talked with them both before, and heard their voices. They are actually pretty nice and have been severely misrepresented by many of their followers.
Let me clarify. Jesus does not care how you eat. He does not care how you screw. He does not care about your clothes, and he does not want to take over the world and he does not expect all people everywhere to worship him. And I’m pretty sure he’s upset he’s being misrepresented, and when certain people die, he’s going to make sure there are consequences.
Jesus was furthermore against theocracies, and sought to establish a separation of church and state and that church eventually became the biggest superpower in the modern world, and also a great oppressor of human beings from the takeover of Pagan Europe, to the Inquisition and the Crusades, and finally the genocide of the Americas.
I have also concluded the two Spirit tradition is just one of many casualties of war, assimilation, and cultural genocides we have engaged in as a species since the day we stood up on hind legs, and we may have been just as bad when we scurried around on all fours. The Two Spirit traditions demise and struggle to be reestablished is not a Christian and non-Christian or a white and non-white issue, but it is a part of a greater problem we face as human beings.
We refuse to co-exist and are- excuse the pun- hellbent on overpowering one another as a species in general.
This further proves to me Anton LaVey was right- man is an animal governed by his desires and lusts, and no amount of denying this and trying to do better will succeed for the whole species. The ambitious, greedy, aggressive animal will out like with the men a young LaVey saw, who went to Saturday’s peep shows and then piously sat next to their wives and children in church the next day.
In my interviews, many folks said they had heard of the Two Spirit traditions, but nobody who was not Two Spirited seemed to know anybody who called themselves Two Spirited. They knew plenty of gays, and some gay Native Americans, but none knew anybody who had undergone the training for the sacred responsibilities being Two Spirited entailed.
Some of the Indigenous Christians I interviewed answered we are all beautiful in the eyes of the Creator, and refused to judge anybody period.
Others gave detailed scriptural passages from the Old Testament explaining why they feel it is wrong.
The basic script these people spit out goes as follows.
There is one god, one way to please that god, one way to get into heaven, and only one chance to do so. There is likewise only one way to fuck properly. It is within the institution of Christian marriage, with the man on top of the woman, and only for the sake of having kids. Nobody is supposed to enjoy sex, furthermore, and men have to do only manly things like hunt and fish and women are to do only womanly things like sew and cook. Or else you will all go to hell.
The only way to be religious is to read the Bible, and dress up every Sunday for church. You have to feel guilty all the time and live in constant fear of punishment from this god who loves you so much, that he killed his only son to atone for the fact he is eternally pissed off at you for being the way he created you to be.
You have to cover your bodies in shame, wearing lots and lots of clothes despite the fact we are born naked, and you have to publicly shame everybody who does not do this- or else you will go to hell.
And nobody is allowed to point any of this out, or else Christians will get mad at you, and you will surely go straight to hell.
The meaning of life is to be eternally sorry that we, as humans are born so filthy, and our only hope is to get into heaven by suffering a whole lot here.
When Europeans, who had basically been assimilated, themselves, came to the Americas, they found half naked- and sometimes naked people who were worshiping in ways they never heard of, who screwed however they saw fit, and who owned vast cities with great wealth. They found delicious foodstuffs that grew no place else, and found people practicing medicine the Europeans could not rival and who had elaborate systems of writing when most Europeans were illiterate. They could read the stars and forecast the weather for agricultural purposes sans telescopes and other instruments, and used this to calculate intricate mathematics used in architecture, many structures still usable hundreds of years later. Europe was, on the other hand, over populated, decimated by disease, the masses starving and crushed under the yoke of tyrannical rulers, and everybody was literally, dying to get out of there. They could not understand why these “savages” seemingly had everything, because they were sinful, and were not gods people.
These Europeans decided they must have everything there, which did not belong to them- despite the fact their god said “Thou shalt not steal” and they methodically began to destroy these people so they could take it all. They, not surprisingly, with their mindset they were the chosen people of god, justified every atrocity because they had their missionaries there, and it was better for these “savages” to suffer greatly with their bodies, rather than to burn in hell forever because they did not worship the one true god. They took everything the natives had, and “gave” them their religion in exchange.
Who was once a hated god of the conquerors has now become “The Creator” and is sometimes referred to as “The Great Spirit and his son, Jesus Christ.”
You cannot tell me people cannot be Two Spirited because Jesus is against it. You cannot tell me it is because his father is against it. His father made a covenant with the Israelites. Everybody else was an outsider. The god of the Old testament was uninterested in taking over the world and making everybody worship him. He was interested in advancing HIS people and doing for them.
How did this sudden change in focus occur?
Rome.
They initially persecuted Christians, and then extolled Christianity to a great political superpower. Before Christianization, Rome sought to rule the world, and afterwards, still did. Instead of Jupiter, king of the gods, they now had the Israelite god, who is actually a reincarnation of the Caananite El. His son, who adapted a lot of the qualities of Persian/Roman Mithra, became their battle standard.
The religion early political Christians constructed did not resemble the one the rabbi/carpenter who was supposedly divinely conceived had followed and taught, and today it still doesn’t. It resembles the Pagan theocracies and the Abrahamic theocracies.
Furthermore, since the Old Testament declared homosexuality as sin, surely we should too. Right?
People conveniently forget the Old Testament likewise outlawed ingesting shrimp and pork, and in another passage states you can eat whatever you want. The Old Testament also calls for offering animal sacrifice by fire. Know any Christians who do this? Me neither. It calls for specific amounts of oxen you are to give to your clergy persons as payment, and also all the reasons you can stone people to death in the streets.
In the New Testament, Jesus says to disregard that.
Let’s face it. None of us are Iron Age Abrahamics. The cultural and holy laws ascribing a way of life do not apply to us. They likewise were not practical to impose on the Indigenous peoples of the Americas, but conquerors don’t care about what is fair or correct. They care about what will advance the cause, and theirs was to take over.
This is all conveniently forgotten by conquered people who adopted their conquerors god and the conquerors way of life. It happened in Europe and it happened in North and South America.
The Two Spirit tradition is just one of many practices discarded, and now condemned by the very people who used to hold it and other practices sacred. Because their conquerors told them to.
Assimilation accomplished.
Thankfully, the Two Spirit tradition is being reclaimed beautifully, despite what the dominant culture did and despite how some say the old ways are sinful and wicked and dead and should be forgotten.
In closing, I have a wish for all of you reading this.
Hold fast to your traditions and honor the ways of your ancestors. Your dead speak through you, and you are the living embodiment of all your kin who have gone before you. All the good they did breathes through you. All the joys they had show when you smile. All the love they shared is expressed when you express love. Your children are their children.
When people who are not like you come, and try to make you like them, resist. Likewise, do not seek to make others be just like you. Do not discard your own ways to follow the ways of other people.
We may be citizens of one world, but we are not all exactly the same. Respect this, and the fact others need to be who they are even if you don’t understand all that they do. Do not seek to be understood by everybody, and seek to be who and what you are in the fullest way.
Harmonize with others well, beholding the beauty in them, and sharing the beauty in you.
Walk the life you were born to walk, and let others peaceably walk theirs.
Love one another.
And stop making your god out to be a fucking asshole. He’s pissed off about that!
Blessed Be.
Read on at your own risk...
These are the writings of a human being, not a perfect entity.
I'm a total jerk sometimes and I speak what should be kept to myself.
I dwell on the negative at times and others, am overly optimistic.
I am at times a self-centered, shallow bitch, and others overly tolerant of bs.
Sometimes, I am unreasonable, and very wrong and others, go above and beyond to be fair.
There are times I do what is right, and others when I don't even think about what I am about to is right or wrong.
I am at times overly PC and others, beyond inconsiderate.
I am me at all times, no matter what I am doing.
Un-apologetically and fully so.
What lies in these postings may be upsetting at times and uplifting others.
Like me.
I may have my information wrong, and I might be 100% correct.
Like anybody.
I write because I have something to say.
Sometimes, it is unimportant, and it is not worth reading.
I write even if nobody is going to read it at all, because it's what I do.
I never thought of myself as so important that everybody will flock to read whatever I write, but I must have somewhat of an ego issue to be vain enough do a blog anyhow. Mustn't I?
If you enjoy what you read, you have my sympathy because you must be as demented as I am.
If what I write upsets you, I understand. Sometimes, I upset myself.
Read on at your own risk, folks. The best and worst is yet to come.
I'm a total jerk sometimes and I speak what should be kept to myself.
I dwell on the negative at times and others, am overly optimistic.
I am at times a self-centered, shallow bitch, and others overly tolerant of bs.
Sometimes, I am unreasonable, and very wrong and others, go above and beyond to be fair.
There are times I do what is right, and others when I don't even think about what I am about to is right or wrong.
I am at times overly PC and others, beyond inconsiderate.
I am me at all times, no matter what I am doing.
Un-apologetically and fully so.
What lies in these postings may be upsetting at times and uplifting others.
Like me.
I may have my information wrong, and I might be 100% correct.
Like anybody.
I write because I have something to say.
Sometimes, it is unimportant, and it is not worth reading.
I write even if nobody is going to read it at all, because it's what I do.
I never thought of myself as so important that everybody will flock to read whatever I write, but I must have somewhat of an ego issue to be vain enough do a blog anyhow. Mustn't I?
If you enjoy what you read, you have my sympathy because you must be as demented as I am.
If what I write upsets you, I understand. Sometimes, I upset myself.
Read on at your own risk, folks. The best and worst is yet to come.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)