Welcome Home.
That means something different to each person who hears it.
The thought of home may conjure up images of family gatherings in days of yesteryear, or images of the end of your marriage. You may think of your crash pad, or your party pad. It may be a place you share with people who you cannot stand, and it may be the only place where you want to be.
A friend once tole me a house is a hole in the ground you pour money into. It certainly CAN be, but it does not have to be.
Today, Americans struggle with home ownership. What was yesterday's great "American Dream" has become for many, the greatest American Nightmare. Read the news. There are constant reports of foreclosures. Just this past weekend, i visited an open house where a wide eyed, aristocratic individual beamed how she and her spouse had bought said house as a foreclosure and gutted it and flipped it for profit. She said the place was in contract, but they were showing it anyhow. I could not help but think of the man who lost the house where he'd lived for decades, and I wondered how much he had owed to some lender to earn him the punishment of banishment and homelessness. I also could not help but notice where they cut quite a few corners making the house all neutral to sell. It felt cold and sterile, and if you will excuse the pun, I could not help but notice the echoing click her designer shoes made on the cold laminate floors.
Home, my ass.
A lot of folks see their residences as a place for everything but living. It's a financial investment. It's s status symbol. It's to prove something to your neighbors. "Our yard work is BETTER than theirs." It becomes a drudge for some people who struggle with maintenance costs and get swindled by greedy "professionals" who tell you that the most expensive fix will ONLY do.
Rather than a joy, a sanctuary, a castle, and an honor, home has become a burden on many.
Finances aside, it's an attitude. We live in a culture of excess and overspending. We live beyond our means and we do not take care of our health. We overeat, sleep too little, exercise just to stay thin, and pack the house with unnatural things advertisers claim we MUST have, and since everybody else seems to have it, well, we just to TOO. Right?
Wrong.
Our homes reflect how we live, and how we live is in essence who we Are.
What it shows in many of today's homes is this is the place where we sleep poorly, watch TV, eat processed foods, and read publications advertisers TELL us to. Many homeowners have no control of their own homes because they have surrendered it to some brand or firm or design label.
Before we go any further, I will tell you something. i am giving you full permission to cast all that off. I give you permission to stop living somebody else's dream and start living your own reality. If you want hoochie mama pink walls, then have it so. If you want to keep that old couch because it was your grandma's- even though everybody says it's ghastly- then KEEP it. If you want all black candles, then have all black candles. And so on and so forth. There is no RIGHT style to have a home, but there are things that a home should be, and many homes are just not these days.
What home should be:
1) Yours. Period. Each person and family is different. As are needs different. Some need a home office, some need quiet. Some need hustle and bustle, some need calm and to be undisturbed. The decision is yours. Just don't make it a place that does not work as an oppressive space...do not let it deplete your finances or your well being. It is to SUPPORT you and your needs, not drain you and your bank account.
2) An extension of how you live.
3) Free of clutter. We are mass consumers. We take in and we poop out a lot. Some of which just lays around the house and is worth literally as much as yesterday's poop as far as I am concerned. You don't hear about people with hoarding disorder in the poor streets of Calcutta. We hoarde and mass consume because we can. Well, stop it already. you are drowning yourself in stuff. Stuff I bet you would not miss if it mysteriously disappeared one day. Sentiments and keepsakes are important, but everything you ever got is not a sentimental item. Purge, and clear out all that you possibly can. if you have not used it in two years, it has got to go. "Well, I spent good money on that.So I',m keeping it!!!!!" That is true, but it's a mistake, and it has to stop. Stop the needless spending and stop justifying clutter. i encourage you to donate as much as possible to non-profit places. Nobody will pay what you paid for it unless it's an antique or collector's piece. And, most likely, half the stuff people think is worth money is not. Free yourself of the unnecessary stuff.
4) Things in their place and rooms set up for a certain function. The bedroom is for sleeping and intimacy. Not for TV watching and late night working. The kitchens ins for eating, not working on the car engine. the living area is a do-all space for entertaining and socializing. Not a bedroom and not a bathroom. the bathroom is for hygiene and should be a place of healing- thus all this new "spa" themed paraphernalia stores make a killing with. I realize not everybody has a big home or separate rooms for everything they need to do. Even if all you have is a studio apartmennt, or one room in a place you share with roommates, there are things you can do to support your needs. You may not be able to do EVERYTHING, but you can do some.
5) Colors, materials, and smells are appropriate for the function. I will talk a lot about these things. this has to do with human psychology. Back when the New Agers and early Neo-Pagans talked in length about aromatherapy, and color vibrations, people brushed it away as sensationalist bs. But now science supports it. Color, smell, texture, taste, and sound influence wellbeing. Choose these things well in your home, and you will be healthier psychologically, which trickles down to better body health. It matters. It takes some experimenting, but it is worth it. Really, though. Instinctively, people gravitate toward certain colors and smells and textures, and that should be embraced, not ignored.
6) A Scared Space. Your home may be your castle and your world away from the world. It is a physical manifestation of what you are on the inside. It is sacred, it is holy, it is a sanctuary, and a temple. A house that is in a shambles is a sign of a life that is in shambles. You can be poor and have a good life. You can be rich and have a life that is in tatters. Your house can be organized and beautiful and well-done, but your life can still be empty. These may be the minimalists. Your life can be full to the point of being too full, and nearly break you. These may be the hoarders. Not always, though.
7) A good mover of energy. yes, I said it. Home is a magical operation. Magic is defined , by me, at least, as moving energy. You put energy, or work toward something, that gives it power, and makes things happen. There are so many ways to do so. The power of your intent can do it, and arranging things in a certain way can also do so. Ever seen a roadblock? It's just stuff cluttering an area. It's designed to get people to stay out of one area and move into another. It works! Well, some people's entire homes are roadblocks. A glaring streetlight outside your bedroom window can make you not sleep well. Put up curtains and block out that light, and hocus pocus! You can sleep better!!!!!!!! Easier than loading up a cauldron with eye of snake and wing of fly, and a pretty mundane way to cause a reaction, but it made a result anyhow. You moved fabric to block light waves, and your body reacted favorably. We will be discussing a lot of different magical operations, if you will, to make your home support your goals and needs. (cackle cackle)
To clarify. This is a book about making a space a home. But this is not a design article. It's not a how-to guide to make your home look like a piece of museum or gallery art or like something out of a tv show or magazine.
It is all about transforming your rooms into spaces of comfort, healthy living, and to create sacred spaces. Each person's home should reflect their needs and goals, not somebody else's needs and goals.
Home is your sanctuary, your castle, you place to be removed from that which vexes you. It is where you go to recharge and create. Transforming it can transform you. A carefully done home is more important than a carefully done wardrobe.
Home is what you make it to be. You do not have to be a designer, an artist, or a custom builder to create your home well.
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