On making a residence your HOME- and how it is a magical operation...

Welcome Home.

 

That means something different to each person who hears it.

 

The thought of home may conjure up images of family gatherings in days of yesteryear, or images of the end of your marriage.  You may think of your crash pad, or your party pad. It may be a place you share with people who you cannot stand, and it may be the only place where you want to be.

 

A friend once tole me a house is a hole in the ground you pour money into. It certainly CAN be, but it does not have to be.

 

Today, Americans struggle with home ownership. What was yesterday's great "American Dream" has become for many, the greatest American Nightmare. Read the news. There are constant reports of foreclosures.  Just this past weekend, i visited an open house where a wide eyed, aristocratic individual beamed how she and her spouse had bought said house as a foreclosure and gutted it and flipped it for profit. She said the place was in contract, but they were showing it anyhow. I could not help but think of the man who lost the house where he'd lived for decades, and I wondered how much he had owed to some lender to earn him the punishment of banishment and homelessness. I also could not help but notice where they cut quite a few corners making the house all neutral to sell. It felt cold and sterile, and if you will excuse the pun, I could not help but notice the echoing click her designer shoes made on the cold laminate floors.

 

Home, my ass.

 

A lot of folks see their residences as a place for everything but living. It's a financial investment. It's s status symbol. It's to prove something to your neighbors. "Our yard work is BETTER than theirs." It becomes a drudge for some people who struggle with maintenance costs and get swindled by greedy "professionals" who tell you that the most expensive fix will ONLY do.

 

Rather than a joy, a sanctuary, a castle,  and an honor, home has become a burden on many.

 

Finances aside, it's an attitude. We live in a culture of excess and overspending. We live beyond our means and we do not take care of our health. We overeat, sleep too little, exercise just to stay thin, and pack the house with unnatural things advertisers claim we MUST have, and since everybody else seems to have it, well, we just to TOO. Right?

 

Wrong.

 

Our homes reflect how we live, and how we live is in essence who we Are.

 

 What it shows in many of today's homes is this is the place where we sleep poorly, watch TV, eat processed foods, and read publications advertisers TELL us to. Many homeowners have no control of their own homes because they have surrendered it to some brand or firm or design label.

 

Before we go any further, I will tell you  something. i am giving you full permission to cast all that off. I give you permission to stop living somebody else's dream and start living your own reality. If you want hoochie mama pink walls, then have it so. If you want to keep that old couch because it was your grandma's- even though everybody says it's ghastly- then KEEP it. If you want all black candles, then have all black candles. And so on and so forth. There is no RIGHT style to have a home, but there are things that a home should be, and many homes are just not these days.

 

What home should be:

 

1) Yours. Period. Each person and family is different. As are needs different. Some need a home office, some need quiet. Some need hustle and bustle, some need calm and to be undisturbed. The decision is yours. Just don't make it a place that does not work as an oppressive space...do not let it deplete your finances or your well being. It is to SUPPORT you and your needs, not drain you and your bank account.

 

2) An extension of how you live.

 

3) Free of clutter. We are mass consumers. We take in and we poop out a lot. Some of which just lays around the house and is worth literally as much as yesterday's poop as far as I am concerned. You don't hear about people with hoarding disorder in the poor streets of Calcutta. We hoarde and mass consume because we can. Well, stop it already. you are drowning yourself in stuff. Stuff I bet you would not miss if it mysteriously disappeared one day. Sentiments and keepsakes are important, but everything you ever got is not a sentimental item. Purge, and clear out all that you possibly can. if you have not used it in two years, it has got to go. "Well, I spent good money on that.So I',m keeping it!!!!!" That is true, but it's a mistake, and it has to stop. Stop the needless spending and stop justifying clutter. i encourage you to donate as much as possible to non-profit places. Nobody will pay what you paid for it unless it's an antique or collector's piece. And, most likely, half the stuff people think is worth money is not. Free yourself of the unnecessary stuff.

 

4) Things in their place and rooms set up for a certain function. The bedroom is for sleeping and intimacy. Not for TV watching and late night working. The kitchens ins for eating, not working on the car engine. the living area is a do-all space for entertaining and socializing. Not a bedroom and not a bathroom. the bathroom is for hygiene and should be a place of healing- thus all this new "spa" themed paraphernalia stores make a killing with. I realize not everybody has a big home or separate rooms for everything they need to do. Even if all you have is a studio apartmennt, or one room in a place you share with roommates, there are things you can do to support your needs. You may not be able to do EVERYTHING, but you can do some.

 

5) Colors, materials, and smells are appropriate for the function. I will talk a lot about these things. this has to do with human psychology. Back when the New Agers and early Neo-Pagans talked in length about aromatherapy, and color vibrations, people brushed it away as sensationalist bs. But now science supports it. Color, smell, texture, taste, and sound influence wellbeing. Choose these things well in your home, and you will be healthier psychologically, which trickles down to better body health. It matters. It takes some experimenting, but it is worth it. Really, though. Instinctively, people gravitate toward certain colors and smells and textures, and that should be embraced, not ignored.

 

6) A Scared Space. Your home may be your castle and your world away from the world. It is a physical manifestation of what you are on the inside. It is sacred, it is holy, it is a sanctuary, and a temple. A house that is in a shambles is a sign of a life that is in shambles. You can be poor and have a good life. You can be rich and have a life that is in tatters. Your house can be organized and beautiful and well-done, but your life can still be empty. These may be the minimalists. Your life can be full to the point of being too full, and nearly break you. These may be the hoarders. Not always, though.

 

7) A good mover of energy. yes, I said it. Home is a magical operation. Magic is defined , by me, at least, as moving energy. You put energy, or work toward something, that gives it power, and makes things happen. There are so many ways to do so. The power of your intent can do it, and arranging things in a certain way can also do so. Ever seen a roadblock? It's just stuff cluttering an area. It's designed to get people to stay out of one area and move into another. It works! Well, some people's entire homes are roadblocks. A glaring streetlight outside your bedroom window can make you not sleep well. Put up curtains and block out that light, and hocus pocus! You can sleep better!!!!!!!! Easier than loading up a cauldron with eye of snake and wing of fly, and a pretty mundane way to cause a reaction, but it made a result anyhow. You moved fabric to block light waves, and your body reacted favorably. We will be discussing a lot of different magical operations, if you will, to make your home support your goals and needs. (cackle cackle)

 

 

To clarify. This is a book about making a space a home. But this is not a design article. It's not a how-to guide to make your home look like a piece of museum or gallery art or like something out of a tv show or magazine.

 

It is all about transforming your rooms into spaces of comfort, healthy living, and to create sacred spaces. Each person's home should reflect their needs and goals, not somebody else's needs and goals.

Home is your sanctuary, your castle, you place to be removed from that which vexes you. It is where you go to recharge and create. Transforming it can transform you. A carefully done home is more important than a carefully done wardrobe.

 

Home is what you make it to be. You do not have to be a designer, an artist, or a custom builder to create your home well.

Sunday

Sunday. I am alone. It's a horrible reality these days. I used to be swamped with people, overwhelmed with all these strangers, all wanting something from me, and going away once they'd gotten it. I decided to stop giving, see who was left around after that. Few. Precious few. And all of us, every last one of us gloriously busy with some important thing or another.  Little by little, life has whittled me down to this. Perhaps as punishment because I don't want to be as a tree people only visit to strip of its fruit. Perhaps I've outlived my usefulness and that is the only reason I was born. To give all that I have. The aloneness is the very last thing I have left that is fully mine. Sometimes, I try to ignore it so it's not mine either. Like I want to be left with nothing. I send the aloneness away when I go to work or visit with somebody, but it always creeps back. I bundle it up, and throw it off, high high into the stars, or past the mountains , or far below the waters, tied to the heaviest rock I can find, and always, it finds its way back to me. Sometimes, it is all that I can call my own, and I cling to it like it's oxygen. Other times, I run like hell from it, and don't care if I can breathe or not. And it is the times in between, when I can't decide whether I want the aloneness or not, when I'm confused, or perhaps indecisive, and I don't even have knowledge of what I prefer- it's those in between times when the aloneness is strongest, most present. When I cannot even define what I want. If I don't know what I want, am I still alive? My heart beats, and I eat and sleep and work- but without meaning, or desire, am I still here, or have I left myself and gone someplace else that I'm unaware of?  What is there to come back to if I am gone? What is there but quiet, and time, and the holes, and cracks, and emptiness from things that occupied my yesterdays that I've been unable to fill today? Will I bring back something to give meaning and fullness to tomorrow from that nameless place I must go to, that place nobody knows, not even me? Inbetween cups of coffee, I write this, not knowing if anybody sees, or what will happen if the do see? Does anybody else on earth ever feel this way? Does it matter? 

The Two Spirit Series- last and only existing article

I was a volunteer writer for The Gay Community News for a few months. I resigned today because articles that were published mysteriously disappeared and I was not happy how the editor handled my asking him about it.
 I interviewed people for these articles because I believe their stories deserve told.
While I understand that shit happens sometimes, I am not content to just throw out all the people who took the time to respond said. It is difficult to share, especially to a stranger. To share personal parts of your life and opinions deserves respect and honor.

The third and final article was the only one I have been able to salvage- because I was too stupid and trusting to save a copy of the drafts myself.  Had I been careful to do so, all that was said would not have been lost. I accept full responsibility for this.
 I  had some personal reflection in this article. It's long, and I have removed the images the editor added. The writing is intact, and I share it with you now.

I express my respect for all the people who shared their life stories, their opinions, and their valuable time. I apologize for loss of 2/3 of your sharing.
Blessed Be.

The third and final article in this series has taken me a long time.

I e-mailed and quizzed people. Then I pondered. I realized what took me so long is that I was so very disturbed by a few responses, and I just did not know how to write about it because my mind wanted to block this ugly truth out. To write about it, I had to accept it existed, and I was not ready to do that. I’m still not. But I’m doing it anyways.

Some Indigenous Americans are so very pleased they are assimilated because they view the old pre-Christian practices as wicked and sinful and they are grateful they don’t think they are going to hell like they think their ancestors are. Some are ashamed of their ancestors.

As a person who has cast off dominant society’s constraints and even the dominant religion, embracing and reclaiming some of my ancestral traditions, it hurts me to see people being happy their cultural and ancestral ways were crushed. Because they think it is pleasing to god.

As a clergy person in training, and one who acts as clergy, it hurts me that people view their god this way. Granted, YHVH and Jesus are not my gods, but I’ve talked with them both before, and heard their voices. They are actually pretty nice and have been severely misrepresented by many of their followers.

Let me clarify. Jesus does not care how you eat. He does not care how you screw. He does not care about your clothes, and he does not want to take over the world and he does not expect all people everywhere to worship him. And I’m pretty sure he’s upset he’s being misrepresented, and when certain people die, he’s going to make sure there are consequences.

Jesus was furthermore against theocracies, and sought to establish a separation of church and state and that church eventually became the biggest superpower in the modern world, and also a great oppressor of human beings from the takeover of Pagan Europe, to the Inquisition and the Crusades, and finally the genocide of the Americas.

I have also concluded the two Spirit tradition is just one of many casualties of war, assimilation, and cultural genocides we have engaged in as a species since the day we stood up on hind legs, and we may have been just as bad when we scurried around on all fours. The Two Spirit traditions demise and struggle to be reestablished is not a Christian and non-Christian or a white and non-white issue, but it is a part of a greater problem we face as human beings.

We refuse to co-exist and are- excuse the pun- hellbent on overpowering one another as a species in general.

This further proves to me Anton LaVey was right- man is an animal governed by his desires and lusts, and no amount of denying this and trying to do better will succeed for the whole species. The ambitious, greedy, aggressive animal will out like with the men a young LaVey saw, who went to Saturday’s peep shows and then piously sat next to their wives and children in church the next day.

In my interviews, many folks said they had heard of the Two Spirit traditions, but nobody who was not Two Spirited seemed to know anybody who called themselves Two Spirited. They knew plenty of gays, and some gay Native Americans, but none knew anybody who had undergone the training for the sacred responsibilities being Two Spirited entailed.

Some of the Indigenous Christians I interviewed answered we are all beautiful in the eyes of the Creator, and refused to judge anybody period.

Others gave detailed scriptural passages from the Old Testament explaining why they feel it is wrong.

The basic script these people spit out goes as follows.

There is one god, one way to please that god, one way to get into heaven, and only one chance to do so. There is likewise only one way to fuck properly. It is within the institution of Christian marriage, with the man on top of the woman, and only for the sake of having kids. Nobody is supposed to enjoy sex, furthermore, and men have to do only manly things like hunt and fish and women are to do only womanly things like sew and cook. Or else you will all go to hell.

The only way to be religious is to read the Bible, and dress up every Sunday for church. You have to feel guilty all the time and live in constant fear of punishment from this god who loves you so much, that he killed his only son to atone for the fact he is eternally pissed off at you for being the way he created you to be.

You have to cover your bodies in shame, wearing lots and lots of clothes despite the fact we are born naked, and you have to publicly shame everybody who does not do this- or else you will go to hell.

And nobody is allowed to point any of this out, or else Christians will get mad at you, and you will surely go straight to hell.

The meaning of life is to be eternally sorry that we, as humans are born so filthy, and our only hope is to get into heaven by suffering a whole lot here.

When Europeans, who had basically been assimilated, themselves, came to the Americas, they found half naked- and sometimes naked people who were worshiping in ways they never heard of, who screwed however they saw fit, and who owned vast cities with great wealth. They found delicious foodstuffs that grew no place else, and found people practicing medicine the Europeans could not rival and who had elaborate systems of writing when most Europeans were illiterate. They could read the stars and forecast the weather for agricultural purposes sans telescopes and other instruments, and used this to calculate intricate mathematics used in architecture, many structures still usable hundreds of years later. Europe was, on the other hand, over populated, decimated by disease, the masses starving and crushed under the yoke of tyrannical rulers, and everybody was literally, dying to get out of there. They could not understand why these “savages” seemingly had everything, because they were sinful, and were not gods people.

These Europeans decided they must have everything there, which did not belong to them- despite the fact their god said “Thou shalt not steal” and they methodically began to destroy these people so they could take it all. They, not surprisingly, with their mindset they were the chosen people of god, justified every atrocity because they had their missionaries there, and it was better for these “savages” to suffer greatly with their bodies, rather than to burn in hell forever because they did not worship the one true god. They took everything the natives had, and “gave” them their religion in exchange.

Who was once a hated god of the conquerors has now become “The Creator” and is sometimes referred to as “The Great Spirit and his son, Jesus Christ.”

You cannot tell me people cannot be Two Spirited because Jesus is against it. You cannot tell me it is because his father is against it. His father made a covenant with the Israelites. Everybody else was an outsider. The god of the Old testament was uninterested in taking over the world and making everybody worship him. He was interested in advancing HIS people and doing for them.

How did this sudden change in focus occur?

Rome.

They initially persecuted Christians, and then extolled Christianity to a great political superpower. Before Christianization, Rome sought to rule the world, and afterwards, still did. Instead of Jupiter, king of the gods, they now had the Israelite god, who is actually a reincarnation of the Caananite El. His son, who adapted a lot of the qualities of Persian/Roman Mithra, became their battle standard.

The religion early political Christians constructed did not resemble the one the rabbi/carpenter who was supposedly divinely conceived had followed and taught, and today it still doesn’t. It resembles the Pagan theocracies and the Abrahamic theocracies.

Furthermore, since the Old Testament declared homosexuality as sin, surely we should too. Right?

People conveniently forget the Old Testament likewise outlawed ingesting shrimp and pork, and in another passage states you can eat whatever you want. The Old Testament also calls for offering animal sacrifice by fire. Know any Christians who do this? Me neither. It calls for specific amounts of oxen you are to give to your clergy persons as payment, and also all the reasons you can stone people to death in the streets.

In the New Testament, Jesus says to disregard that.

Let’s face it. None of us are Iron Age Abrahamics. The cultural and holy laws ascribing a way of life do not apply to us. They likewise were not practical to impose on the Indigenous peoples of the Americas, but conquerors don’t care about what is fair or correct. They care about what will advance the cause, and theirs was to take over.

This is all conveniently forgotten by conquered people who adopted their conquerors god and the conquerors way of life. It happened in Europe and it happened in North and South America.

The Two Spirit tradition is just one of many practices discarded, and now condemned by the very people who used to hold it and other practices sacred. Because their conquerors told them to.

Assimilation accomplished.

Thankfully, the Two Spirit tradition is being reclaimed beautifully, despite what the dominant culture did and despite how some say the old ways are sinful and wicked and dead and should be forgotten.

In closing, I have a wish for all of you reading this.

Hold fast to your traditions and honor the ways of your ancestors. Your dead speak through you, and you are the living embodiment of all your kin who have gone before you. All the good they did breathes through you. All the joys they had show when you smile. All the love they shared is expressed when you express love. Your children are their children.

When people who are not like you come, and try to make you like them, resist. Likewise, do not seek to make others be just like you. Do not discard your own ways to follow the ways of other people.

We may be citizens of one world, but we are not all exactly the same. Respect this, and the fact others need to be who they are even if you don’t understand all that they do. Do not seek to be understood by everybody, and seek to be who and what you are in the fullest way.

Harmonize with others well, beholding the beauty in them, and sharing the beauty in you.

Walk the life you were born to walk, and let others peaceably walk theirs.

Love one another.

And stop making your god out to be a fucking asshole. He’s pissed off about that!

Blessed Be.

Read on at your own risk...

These are the writings of a human being, not a perfect entity.
I'm a total jerk sometimes and I speak what should be kept to myself.
I dwell on the negative at times and others, am overly optimistic.
I am at times a self-centered, shallow bitch, and others overly tolerant of bs.
 Sometimes, I am unreasonable, and very wrong and others, go above and beyond to be fair.
 There are times I do what is right, and others when I don't even think about what I  am about to is right or wrong.
I am at times overly PC and others, beyond inconsiderate.
I am me at all times, no matter what I am doing.
Un-apologetically and fully so.

What lies in these postings may be upsetting at times and uplifting others.
Like me.
I may have my information wrong, and I might be 100% correct.
Like anybody.

I write because I have something to say.
Sometimes, it is unimportant, and it is not worth reading.

I write even if nobody is going to read it at all, because it's what I do.

I never thought of myself as so important that everybody will flock to read whatever I write, but I must have somewhat of an ego issue to be vain enough do a blog anyhow. Mustn't I?

If you enjoy what you read, you have my sympathy because you must be as demented as I am.

If what I write upsets you, I understand. Sometimes, I upset myself.

Read on at your own risk, folks. The best and worst is yet to come.